Help, My Teen Wants to Date!
Help for Christian parents raising teens in today's culture! More than one in four teenage girls in a relationship report enduring repeated. At a parent-teen conference on dating, a teenage girl asked speaker Bill . It is God's plan for most Christian young people to marry and raise godly children. There's all kinds of advice out there about teenage dating. The choice is up to you and your parents, but Christian teens should still know Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons” (NIV).
As a youth pastor, I get a front row seat to the morally murky waters of teenage dating. Last night at my youth group I taught from 2 Corinthians 6: This passage describes a distinction between the people of God and the unbeliever. Paul gives us the command to not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever and concludes this section in 7: As I taught this passage I made applications to teenage dating and relationships.
However before I started teaching this passage I shared my own personal opinions about teenage dating for Christians. I know how radically counter cultural that sounded to my teenagers who seem to be in a new dating relationship every other week. However, here are my reasons. Your primary focus should be on your relationship with God.
Dating can distract you. Dating can be so distracting for Christian teenagers. I watch them as they gossip about who is dating who. Who broke up with this person. There is a massive amount of emotional and intellectual engagement about the dating life of their peers. It seems that teens are either working on getting a date, currently dating someone, or recovering from a breakup. Singleness seems to be taboo in teenage culture. For the Christian teenager this whole business of dating can be very distracting.
As Christians, our primary focus, especially in our single years, should be on our relationship with God. Rather than spending their energy pursuing the Lord, they are distracted by the dating culture. Rather than spending their evening in prayer with the Lord, the spend it texting their girl friend. You place yourself into unnecessary temptation and sin. Dating can defile you. Our bodies naturally long for physical and sexual intimacy.
Teenage dating unnecessarily puts the Christian in temptation and possible sin. It is like playing with fire. This is why kissing always lead to more intense kissing. Teenagers who are sexually charged with hormones as it is, put themselves at risk when they pair off and isolate each other.
Building intimacy without commitment is dangerous. Teenage dating is unwise because the temptation to sexual sin is great, and sin defiles you. Dating can damage you. I see this especially in teenage girls.
What does the Bible say about dating? Are Christian teens allowed to date?
In a culture of absent Dad, these girls long for the affection and care of a boy. Each time, as the pain caused from the last relationship fades into the background, the guy and girl develop a new romance with a different partner.
The whole scenario of getting deeply involved romantically, breaking up, and doing the same thing over and over again becomes a dress rehearsal for divorce. Is there a better way? Courtship is a relationship in which both guy and girl have the same long-term purpose in view. The requirement for courtship involves a commitment on the part of both guy and girl to certain guidelines: A "one man, one woman" commitment.
A restraint of affections. Lust is a getting proposition and it demands immediate satisfaction. Real love will wait for the right time and right circumstances. It is not unusual for two committed Christians to agree to refrain from all physical contact beyond holding hands until marriage.
Dating & Sex
Some of the happiest married couples can testify to the fact that their first kiss was at the marriage altar! Respect for parents on both sides. In a God-ordained courtship, there should be the approval of the parents on both sides. If one or both sets of parents disapprove of the relationship, that is a danger signal which should not be ignored. A successful marriage involves serious preparation on the part of both the guy and girl. Financial freedom is a necessity in a happy marriage. The couple should seriously consider a budget.
You may be madly in love with each other, but if you do not have a good education and financial freedom, you may not be ready for courtship.
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Ideally, both husband and wife should be committed Christians who love the Lord Jesus with all their hearts. There will be serious problems if one partner is a fully-committed Christian and the other is complacent about the things of God.
Under no circumstances should a born-again Christian marry an unbeliever. The Rewards of Courtship Courtship brings a new freedom in relationships with the opposite sex.
You are focused on one person and not wondering about every guy or girl you meet. It avoids envy and jealousy. Courtship promotes self-control and moral purity.
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It promotes responsibility—you are seriously planning and preparing for life. What does God say? God delights in the happiness of His children. Every command of God is an expression of His love and His desire that we enjoy the best He has in mind for us. Let us see what God says about sexual matters. Fornication Sexual intercourse between a man and a woman who are not married is called fornication.
God hates this sin because it destroys the beautiful plan that God has in mind for you. For you are bought with a price: In business, defrauding is cheating—leading someone to expect certain benefits which you know are false. When a guy professes to love a girl and talks about their getting married some day in order to entice her to have sex with him, that is defrauding.
This means God will punish those who commit this sin. A good rule for guys and girls is this: Do not give or take that which may some day rightfully belong to another person.
Homosexual sins God forbids all sexual intercourse between two members of the same sex. God does not hate homosexuals; He loves them! He loves them so much that He gave His only Son to die for them. But God hates their sin. The Bible tells us that God destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because of this sin. Marrying an unbeliever For a Christian to marry an unbeliever is a violation of the will of God.
In no uncertain terms God warns us against this sin.Christian Dating Secrets REVEALED!
Let this fact impress itself on your mind: Wait for the right person and the right time A researcher has discovered a way to forecast the future of four-year olds by watching how they interact with a marshmallow. He invites the children one by one into a plain room with nothing but a small table and a marshmallow.
Through a one-way window he is able to watch what happens. Some children grab the marshmallow the minute he is gone. Some last a few minutes while others are determined to wait. They cover their eyes, sing to themselves, try to play a game, or even fall asleep.
When the scientist returns, he gives these children their hard-earned two marshmallows. But that is not the end of the story. By the time these children reached high school, the researcher found that those, who as four-year olds held out for the second marshmallow, grew up to be better adjusted, more popular, more confident and dependable teenagers than those who gave in to temptation early on. We are composed of three parts—body, soul, and spirit.
Our soul is our self—composed of mind, emotions, and will.
Should Christian Teenagers Date?
Our spirit is our innermost being by which we can know God and receive His life. They develop a deep friendship based on their common love for the Lord Jesus. As they grow closer to God, they draw closer to each other. In the courtship period, as they grow closer to God, they again grow closer to each other. Finally, in marriage, they enjoy oneness of spirit, oneness of soul, and oneness of body. They become one in Christ.
The result is the deepest, happiest, most fulfilling relationship that can be known by two people in this life. I will save sex for marriage. I will not be involved in the sin of fornication, even if it means losing dates.
I want to wait until then. I will learn to say "No! Young people who are involved in sinful pleasures take delight in dragging others down to their level. If you make excuses, they will keep after you. I will learn to be content as a single person. The fact is, if I am not happy and content as a single person, I will not be happy and content as a married person. I will guard my heart. I have given my heart to the Person who loves me so much that He died on a bloody cross for me so I could live in Heaven with Him.
I will wait for the one of His choice. I will date only Christians. God has told me in no uncertain terms that it is never His will for me as a believer to marry an unbeliever. If I do not date an unbeliever, I will not marry one. I will seriously consider courtship. Until I am ready for marriage, I will not be involved in a lot of pointless romantic relationships that create problems. I will turn away from flirting and playing the dating game. I will turn to courtship, which promotes self-control, moral purity, and responsibility.
I will turn from living for myself and begin showing real love for my brother or sister in Christ. I will put my future in God's hands.