The Single-Mom Dating Guide
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There's no right or wrong, but you should date only because you want to, not because anyone else thinks you should or shouldn't. Believe me, people will have opinions If there's another parent in the picture and you share custody, you will suddenly have something called free time, which you may remember from your pre-mom days. If you're the solo caregiver, please put down this magazine and make yourself a roster of babysitters because you'll need a break.
I remember finding those first few weekends sans kids heady and horrible at the same time. One minute I was dancing around the living room singing "Do you believe in life after love? Without playdates to supervise, squabbles to moderate, or mac 'n' cheese to make, it's hard to know who you are at first. I was afraid that if I jumped right back in, I'd just end up in another unhealthy relationship with someone else--which wouldn't be good for me or my kids.Dating After Divorce: Single Parent Problems: Dating advice for women
I decided to enter the fray about four months after my ex-husband moved out. How did I know it was time? For one thing, I couldn't bear to face another kid-free weekend doing jigsaw puzzles or watching English period dramas. And I found myself lusting after a headless male mannequin in the Gap. Wait--so you're saying there isn't a line of handsome, well-adjusted suitors waiting outside your door because they got the memo that you're available?
There were no obvious candidates for me right off the bat either. Also, I found much of the common wisdom, which advises the single gal to ask friends to fix her up or to hunt for hunks in the aisles of The Home Depot, maddening and unrealistic. By all means, get the word out that you're interested in meeting someone and cross your fingers.
People do get fixed up, from what I hear, and I suppose there are women who can make things happen at bars, playgrounds, and big-box chain stores. I'm not one of them. The fact is, you're a busy mom, which means you're often housebound. If you want to have some control over the process, carve out a few hours for yourself and your laptop during your kids' naptime or after they're asleep.
Sniff around on Facebook. Surely there's an old flame, or a friend of a friend of a friend worth, um, friending? Or join an online dating site where you can cast your net as wide as you'd like.
Your married friends will eagerly help you write your profile and, in return, you will provide them much-needed vicarious thrills. They will love it, I promise! Should I Date Only Dads? Having children is such a life-altering experience that it can be hard to relate to men who don't get the intense pull on your heart and pressure on your time that is parenthood. In my three-plus years of postmarital singledom, I've gone on one or two dates with non-dads, but my two longer-term relationships have been with fathers.
Men who haven't been in the parenting trenches, even if they love kids, just seem to speak a different language, one that doesn't necessarily have a translation for phrases such as, "I can't leave my son with a babysitter tonight because he has the flu.
Julia Landry, the author of the parents. There's no explaining chemistry. If it works with someone, it works, dad-ness be damned.
Can I tell you how much I dreaded this? I was dating a guy for a couple of months when my girls, then 8 and 12, got wind of his existence. Because their dad had already introduced them to his girlfriend and everything went fine, I figured they wouldn't give me a hard time.
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But they're girls and I'm their mom, so it was a whole different thing. My older daughter was not cool with my even mentioning my boyfriend and announced that she refused to meet him. If I want to skip meat, do you think minced portabella single parent dating and sleepovers work in its place.
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