Why is it that most guys date but don't want to marry? - Quora
If your partner is from a Machismo culture, please chime in I've been married to a Belizean for nearly 4 years and we just had our first baby Join Date: Feb . Does he really know what was going on in the kitchen?. “I feel like I never get to make decisions in my own home because I haven't heard from him in years; he married my sixth grade BFF last year. The problem with men and machismo is that we feel pressure to act “macho” every It would be one thing if we only felt this pressure when trying to get a date , but Topics covered in Giorgio's writings include dating, relationships, marriage.
They also enjoyed being able to do what they want and go where they wanted without being questioned. Others believed that the best part was enjoying the responsibilities of being a man and making sure to carry them through.
At the same time, men stated that having too many responsibilities was a downfall of being a man. Others did not like how men identified themselves by the control they have over women rather than the control they have within themselves. The men stated that machismo represents insecurity in a man.
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Some men said it represented an inability to resist the desire to conquer women. It was also seen as acting on impulse without thinking. I think the best way to minimize machismo is to learn and understand why you are a macho.
The men recognized that machismo contaminates a marriage and family.
Mexican culture dating marriage – St. Mark's Episcopal Church
When asked what causes them stress, the men reported excess work, money problems, adapting to the U. More specifically, they stated that the most stressful part of being a man is not knowing how to handle stress, which often leads to substance abuse.
I deal with stress through alcohol. Some men said that they do not like to show their emotions for fear that someone will hurt them. Similar to Native Americans who also have issues with substance abuse, we had our land taken away from us by Europeans and also the southern part of what is currently the U.
Almost all the men stated the same perceived opinions of being macho, alcoholic, promiscuous, ignorant, gardener or construction worker, trouble maker, hard worker, and untrustworthy. I asked them if they agreed with these perceptions. Most men said that there was some truth to it. They ruin it for the rest of us. I wondered what role my gender would play in our interactions. Would they feel a need to hide some parts of themselves for fear of being judged by a woman?
Would they try to portray themselves in a more positive light? Nevertheless, these men did trust me enough to share their thoughts, beliefs, and emotions with me. They took a risk and allowed me to enter their world. They taught me about the joys and struggles of being a Mexican man. If they need his compassion, direction, or discipline. If his children need his knowledge to do homework or make an important decision, he provide guidance for them.
If his wife needs attention or reassurance he tends to her patiently and kindly. All this boils down to another principle that too many people do not yet know about leadership. Being a leader is not about taking power from others or even being in power over others. The goal is not to make those under your charge dependent on you for decisions in all things. The objective is to identify where those under your charge are in need of growth and give them the inspiration, knowledge and encouragement to reach their own maturity in those areas.
For they spend so much effort and energy maintaining their fragile image of strength that they are oblivious to how they themselves show how weak they really are.
When approached with the idea of getting a vasectomy or even using a condom they recoil in disbelief that you would suggest such a catastrophic blow to their manliness. Certainly, in their mind, being a man has everything to do with his ability to produce more children and nothing at all to do with being responsible or compassionate for others.
The same goes for issues such as doing housework, cooking, laundry or helping children with their schoolwork.
10 Signs you're with a machista | MamásLatinas
Usually what you will find beneath the thin veneer of posturing and bold statements from these men is merely an insecure and selfish person who cannot feel strong or secure about himself unless he is belittling and disabling those around him.
What he meant was that when a woman spends years with a man, that man has either invested himself into helping her grow to her potential or he has spent his time belittling and disabling her so as to make himself feel strong and in control.
Until then they had nothing but discouragement from their man concerning learning new things, taking risks, running a business, going to school, getting a better job, being more social. Unfortunately this sort of man preys on women who are either young or insecure themselves for his interests lie in finding someone he can control and always have beneath him.
A truly masculine man, however, is secure in his own abilities and shares them freely to enrich his wife. He sees to it that she is every bit as competent as he in running the home finances, educational opportunities, personal growth, etc. A secure man not only takes joy in seeing that his wife grows and benefits from living with him, but he also is glad that others recognize her talents and abilities as her own. He does not treat her like a child that must be taught how to act in public.
Instead he acts as an encouragement to her dreams and ambitions. He is proud to say that she is a good wife, a smart woman, an attentive Mother and valued counselor with whom he seeks out advice. If there be any success to his own life he readily acknowledges that he did not do it alone, but with the support and advice of his mate in life.
As to authority, he rules with both a sense of direction and compassion. When he makes a decision he understands that he assumes upon himself the responsibility for that decision. If it turns out to be a faulty decision, he takes the blame for it and goes about setting it right.
He does not look how he can pass the blame to someone or something else. To a secure man, asking for assistance from his wife is anything but a sign of weakness. He knows that of all the advice he might seek from others, no one else will view it with the same amount of vested interest as his life partner who holds equal investment in the results of that decision.
These are they who with their mouth proclaim how great and important their strength is, but with their actions show just how weak and fragile their manhood really is. They lack the strength to invest all their love in one woman. They lack the strength to support all their children. They lack the good sense to change a course of action that is destructive to all that is good in their life.
But every day each man is called upon to take control of his own desires, set them aside so that he may contribute to the lives of those around him instead.
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Not all men have the strength to do that and many men fail at various points of their life. But a truly masculine man can see that goal and set his eyes on it to take it one day at a time.