For Survival: Understanding Mind Games Men Play in Relationships
Men are masters of game playing in relationships. Not a huge surprise, since the most common dating blunders are a boon to lazy men. Hi Sandy,. I recently dumped a guy I had been dating for 2 months as it seemed he was playing mind games with me, and only wanted to see. When men play mind games, they play dirty. When girls play, they play to win. [ Read: 7 signs you're dating a player]. #4 They love a challenge. This is the.
This can be quite frustrating for the girl. If a girl is really interested, she will normally have a strong emotional reaction to this type of psychological warfare. Most girls will get worked up with fearful thoughts.Learn The Mind Games Men Play With Women
A girl will start worrying and wondering if he is still interested, if he has seen or is seeing someone else, if he is in serious trouble, if he is ill, etc. Questions, questions, questions, with no answers, because the guy who is supposed to provide the answers is nowhere to be seen.
He is not calling, and he is not answering calls. Think of it this way: Maybe he is trying to see how much you needed him or how much you will miss him if he is no longer there.
If this is the case, your behavior now can either make things worse or better for you. He wants to see how interested and committed you are, and whether or not you are suspicious. My advice is never to panic or overreact. Keep your head to avoid sending the wrong message.
Instead, communicate that he is important to you and that you will be supportive, but you won't be a pushover. They enjoy steady conversation with their lovers, so once he starts going monosyllabic on her, she will immediately inquire whether there is a problem.
Then he will respond in monosyllables or may even begin giving the silent treatment. If this happens to you, know that he is fully aware that your mind will go spinning off the hook as you start wondering what you've done wrong. He is just testing your ability to endure.
So prove that you can, and don't act needy, although it's important to let him know that you love him. Has He Become Inexplicably Aggressive? You start noticing that the nice guy you are used to has transformed into a violent stranger.
For Survival: Understanding Mind Games Men Play in Relationships
The aggression may not only be directed at you, but also at everybody nearby, creating an atmosphere of fear. I know the situation is not funny. However, the purpose of this terrible ploy is not to hurt you but to test your bravery and tensile strength. He wants to see how much shock you can withstand. Nobody needs a coward as a mate.
Even though your partner may not want to admit it, most men need to know that you are that someone who can actually stand up to them and call them to order at the times they need it the most.
Doing so successfully will prove you are a strong and fearless woman. This is one way to get a girl, any girl, to boil. Actually, I think men love compliments even more than women, but while men are expected to keep this desire on the low, women aren't. Women love to be told how good-looking, pretty, and beautiful they are. So after a woman has laboriously made herself up, she loves to hear her man say he likes the end results.
The same goes for her cooking, sense of fashion, and even lovemaking skills. Women love those words—those sweet nothings. And what does he do? He acts as if he didn't notice anything. Almost as if she did not exist! If this happens to you, you can be sure he's watching your frustration build.
You may even be tempted to start throwing a tantrum—which would be playing into his hands. He is testing you to find your breaking point. He wants to see if you're normal—after all, it is only human to get desire acknowledgement—but he also wants to see if you can handle it when someone does not give you the expected response. This is the worst form of all the mind games he can ever play with a girl. By comparing her with others in a negative light, he is using the most destructive means to point out her shortcomings and faults.
We know that our faults are what makes us human, but when a person deliberately forces his significant other to take another look at herself in such a deriding manner, he is sending an entirely different and more terrible message altogether. If this is happening to you, listen up. You might want to retaliate by revealing or telling him things to prove that those people are not as great as he thought they were.
But before you do something like that, think again. Don't let him provoke you into saying ugly, malicious, and revealing things about other people too easily. If you do, it may show that you are ready to throw people who made the "terrible mistake" of confiding in you under the bus. He may also think that such a reaction goes to show how you might talk about him the day the chips are down.
Besides, he might be really interested in getting you to change for the better. Yes, sometimes the truth hurts. But sometimes, it is only true friends who can tell you that type of truth—he may want you to know that he is indeed a true friend. Is He Flirting with Other Girls? Mind-gamers know that women are always watching out for those tendencies toward straying that men normally display even unconsciously.
And so what does a mind-gamer do? Of course, he sends you those signals! Such a guy will flirt and flirt and flirt just to make sure that you get the message that he may be interested in others more than you. There are three reasons he may be doing this, and I am afraid to say them, as they are not exactly what you are going to want to hear: He may be flirting with others in order to stoke your latent jealousy and make you more interested in him.
He could be flirting for fun now just to test the waters and see what your reaction would be like should he on one bright tempting day forget his boundaries and actually take things too far with another girl.
He could also be doing it to send you the unspoken message that he is planning on calling it quits, and when he does, he will say that it is because he can no longer cope with your possessiveness.
If it is for the first reason, you just have to show him the love. That is what he really wants—for you to demonstrate that you really want him. If it is for the second reason, you just go ahead and call him to order by letting him know that even though you know he thinks he is having fun now, that there is a limit to that that rubbish you can stomach.
I bet you he will be shocked to find out that you know the game, and this will definitely make him man up at once. This will also show that you are intelligent, understanding, caring, responsible, and still interested. If so, there's not much you can do except examine whether you truly are clingy or if it's just his excuse for breaking up. If you're actually being overly possessive, you should be ready to do something about that habit, since it is a turn-off for most men.
Is He Becoming Secretive? Suddenly, you notice your man is becoming more and more secretive. If a man is engaging in this type of psychological warfare, there are many ways he could he could go about it. He might start by refusing to answer some of your questions. He might stop sharing thoughts with you and start preferring to be on his own. He might start appearing distant and forgetful. These actions all are meant to signify a lack of interest in you.
True mind-gamers know that this strategy works like magic if the woman in question is really interested, because her significant other's withdrawal will cause her to become more interested in him and his affairs.
The doubts and suspicions he has created in her mind will make her worried, and she will work to find out what is wrong. As with other mind games, purposely creating doubt can allow the mind gamer to find out about how she will react if she ever hears something not-so-great about him.
If your man is playing this trick on you, he wants to see for himself whether he can trust you. He wants to know how you react to gossip and hearsay. He is interested to know if you can actually think for yourself and discern the truth by separating the facts from the chaff of any circulating rumors you might hear about him.
Any interested lady will want to know what is going on with her man. She will try to prove the unspoken message that she couldn't handle what's going on with him wrong by showing him how loyal she can be. In the process, she might even reveal something secret about herself that he never knew—which might even be the reason he launched this type of mind game in the first place.
The 'Convenience' Game So, you and your boyfriend have a strange relationship.
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He breaks your heart and walks away, only to appear after a few days and apologize for his behavior. Guess what, history repeats itself, and he leaves once again. Every time he comes back into your life, he has his own reasons. Sometimes, its work, sometimes, his friends keep him busy, and then there are always some duties that he is expected to do at home.
He may even give you lame reasons that his great-great-grandmother expired, and he needed to be by his great-great-grandpa's side. That is why he didn't show up for six months. The reasons keep on getting bizarre, so much so, that you wonder if he owns an encyclopedia on excuses. This continues for some time, before you realize that you are being taken for a ride.
He treats you as a matter of convenience. Whenever he wants, he comes into your life, and leaves you as he pleases. Are you really that naive? He is giving you all kinds of lame reasons, and you are buying them! Understand that you have to leave him, just as he left you twice. Simply find someone else; there are plenty of fish in the ocean. The 'No Sex' Game So, the guy who could not keep his hands off you is showing no interest in getting intimate lately.
I know how worried you must be because of this. You must be killing yourself with thoughts like, 'has he found someone else? However, you need to understand that he does this, so that you will start doubting your capacity in the art of lovemaking.
You will be forced to confront him, and this is all that he wants you to do. He does this so that he can 'tell' you what he expects from you during physical intimacy, without sounding too demanding.
There is no problem in asking him what he expects from you. However, don't get into a physical act which you may not be comfortable with, just because it pleases him. The 'Comparison' Game This is perhaps the worst game ever, because it will hurt your self-esteem. If your boyfriend is comparing you with any other girl, it will affect you terribly.
It will only add insult to injury, if that girl is someone close to you, like your best friend or sister. He will tell you to go to the gym just like her, become smart like she is, how attractive she is, etc. He is probably well aware that this will cause feelings of jealousy and anger in you. Even then, he will continue to compare your looks, figure, fitness, style, etc.
By making you question everything about your appearance and existence, he tries to bring your self-esteem down. First of all, don't see his criticism in negative light. Maybe he really does want you to improve. However, tell him that you will accept constructive criticism, but you cannot stand comparison, as you take immense pride in your individuality. However, if he is being unreasonable, tell him that you cannot change any further.
Try not to say anything negative to him in a fit of anger, as he may use it against you in a future argument.
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The 'No Compliment' Game You went to a salon and got all decked up specially for him, since you wanted to look beautiful for him. The whole evening passed by, and he didn't even pay you a single compliment.
You are waiting to hear simple words of praise from him. He talks about everything else under the sun, but fails to notice your stunning looks. Your anger is reaching its boiling point, as you wait for him to give you a small compliment. You even indulge in some compliment-fishing by stroking your hair or batting your eyelashes, but to no avail.
He drops you back at your place, and leaves without saying a single word about how stunning you looked that evening. He is purposely not paying a compliment, even though he knows that it is all that you want to hear from him. Try not to overreact, because he may have done this to test your patience. If you throw a tantrum, it will convince him that you are a difficult person to get along with. The next time you meet him, ask him if he noticed you the other day. However, don't say it angrily, rather, put it across subtly.
The 'Ignorance' Game You wait for his call or message, but it is as if he has vanished into thin air. You see that he is active on Facebook, but still not replying to your messages.
You try to call him, but he doesn't answer your calls. You keep on wondering if you did something wrong to hurt him on the last date. These thoughts start disturbing you, and you desperately look for answers. You imagine that he has found someone else, or he does not think you are attractive enough. You are deeply hurt by his behavior, and so you send him one last nasty text, telling him why he doesn't deserve you anyway. This seals the deal of your breakup. He knows very well that you will get a panic attack when something like this happens.
Still, he wants to wait and watch the fun. While he may be genuinely busy, overreacting to this situation can seriously backfire on your relationship. Patience is the key to surviving this mind game. Do not be in a haste to jump to conclusions or accuse him of anything.
Get all the facts right before taking any decision. The 'I Need Space' Game 'I need space', is perhaps words that are dreaded by all girlfriends, because they are well aware what it leads to.